It's Only Simulated Drowning

I'm angry,

angry and tired.

I'm tired of the news and hearing my government talk at me like I'm an idiot. I understand what 'spin' is, there is a fundamental human need to cover one's ass, but can't you think of an argument that's a little less insulting?

Today the president invited members of the press into the Oval Office to essentially bad mouth the senate for being reluctant to approve the nomination of Mukasey for Attorney General. The senate, he says, must have “lost sight of the fact that we’re at war.”

So what is the hold up then? What is this petty issue being debated that must not have anything to do with the war?

Torture. It's about torture. We all know there's a war going on, which is EXACTLY why we want the man in charge of the law to be someone who's not going to authorize torture. If there wasn't a war going on, we probably wouldn't have as many people out there being repeatedly almost drowned until they confess to something.

Here's what that sounds like to me: "You must have lost sight of the fact that I'm doing all sorts of fucked up shit that should be illegal."

Bush says: "It doesn’t make any sense to tell the enemy whether we use those techniques or not"

I hear: "You bet we're doing it, and it's worse than you think!"

Bush says: [it] “is important, and the techniques used are within the law, and members of the intelligence committee know what I’m talking about.”

I hear: "You know we're doing it, and I say it's legal, don't fuck with me."

Bush says: “People who say we are not at war are either disingenuous or naïve,”

I hear: "Why do you hate America? cut off his mic."

or if you'd prefer,

"Look over there! It's something ridiculous we weren't even talking about!"

Maybe he has a point, it was the Democrats in the Senate who put up that ridiculous "Mission Accomplished" banner right? wait, what? oh, right.

At least Mukasey himself isn't making idiotic accusations at his adversaries; he puts it fairly directly: (as paraphrased by Carl Hulse and Steven Lee Myers at the NYT) [He would not call waterboarding illegal] "to avoid any implication that intelligence officers and their bosses had broken the law."

I don't think I need to 'translate' that do I?

Well, why not...
"Although I find waterboarding morally repugnant, I cannot call it illegal because we're doing it all the time, all over the fucking place."

That's why we need you to call it illegal. This has to stop, that is the job you are applying for: upholding the law. Except, you know, like for real this time.

You Are Destroying America

I'm talking to you, AM New York.


I pick up your paper most weekday mornings on my way to work. I do so for 3 reasons.

• To have something to read in the bathroom


• The "hawker" guy is friendly and recognizes me


• I assume the paper will be verbatim whatever is on the news wire, free from any particular agenda

Now I'll totally admit that I have some bias and agenda, but dang, AM New York, today you went too far.


I don't know if you've been watching, but CNN accused Micheal Moore of 'fact fudging' in his film "Sicko" and Moore called them out on it.


CNN, being slightly less evil than Fox News, acknowledged the need for more discussion and had the filmmaker on the Larry King show. Larry somehow seemed to be really surprised that Moore was upset that Dr. Gupta had called him a liar repeatedly on national television. Seriously? Well at least he didn't boot Moore of the show to interview Paris, again.


But how did you cover this story AM New York? Did you provide sources of data that readers could compare? Did you mention the severity of demanding an apology from one of the most powerful news sources in the world? Did you consider the implications if CNN were to be accused of libel? Did you further the debate on healthcare, an issue that will ultimately effect every single citizen of the country?


No. What you did was frame it as a 'media feud' on the celebrity gossip page and mocked him for asking for an apology. Like this was on par with Donald Trump calling Rosie fat. You even gave Victoria Beckham twice as much page space to hype her reality tv show.


Boo on you, AM New York, and by extention the Tribune Company who publishes you. You are destroying America and I hate you.

We all live in boxes.

Ralph has a nice deep voice.


Ralph lives in my computer. (a box)


Ralph entertains us here at knife jog, by reading our emails, and occasionally rap lyrics. So we try to keep Ralph entertained by inserting him in any number of hypothetical situations.



Today, Ralph is adding a slimming vibration machine into his nightly bedtime ritual.

Let's listen in.

Pupils Dilated = No Jogging

Having your pupils dilated pretty much means no jogging. Sadness throughout.