Friday, June 29, 2007

DYI Post

There is the intimidation of the blank page,

the incapacitating anxiety, the huge potential for embarrassment,

Some things are just impossible to do BECAUSE THEY ARE SO EASY!!

I need your help, dear reader, to make fun of this.

image from

The FDA has recalled "Veggie Booty" due to reported cases of salmonella contamination.

I'll give you a few hints to start with:
  • toddlers

  • explosive diarrhea

  • the name 'booty'

you take it from there,

to the comments!


I am going to be in Vegas next week.

I plan to play some blackjack, so I'm practicing, nintendo style.

"Vegas Dream" is playable through virtual nes (dot) com.

But be careful, if the guy in the suit says someone is there to meet you,


They'll push you down the stairs.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Blockbuster Hit of Next Summer!

It's the summer movie season!

The Adolescents who ultimately control our culture have gotten out of school and are eager abuse their money spending powers. Oh, what will they pay to go see?

Evan Almighty is hoping for just a few a hell of a lot of those dollars, breaking the new ground of being the most expensive comedy ever.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they should have spent that money on something crazy like universal health insurance (Steve Carell is the bestest). I'm just a little suprised at this casual, shallow, comedy god-iness in this era of religious extremism, terrorism, war, and painful politicking.

That Jesus movie did pretty well for itself, but that shit was serious b. serious.

Then I saw this picture:

on and sparks went off in my brain.

God + comedy = risky bidness

God + violence = $$$$

God + violence + monsters = box office GOLD.

So I propose to you, movie makers, the blockbuster hit of next summer,

Jurassic Ark!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

"These pipes are not designed to carry bras and knickers."

- Northumbrian Water spokeswoman

Clearly one of the better quotes to jump out of the morning news.

Somewhereabouts in England, some lady underthings that had been flushed down the 'loo (you know, in the WC) managed to block up a sewage pipe and even cause a road to collapse.


But why would anyone be flushing their bras and knickers? 'Tis a mystery, but I have to imagine it was something shameful and embarrassing, right? Then the whole street caves in and geeky yanks like me are laughing about it? Priceless!

Speculative Reporting!

My first guess was that some fickle chap was sneaking a little extra snoggin' on the side, noticed some incriminating lovage paraphernalia laying about, panics and flushes it before his missus can notice and kick him out on his arse.

Diggin deeper (I read the article!) I came across this:
"There was also a heavy build-up of grease and fat, which contributed to the situation."

Ah Ha!

Obviously, someone was building a woman made out of bacon.

Wonderful idea, betterment of society, but science is not ready.


not ready.